I have been asked this question so many times in my life that I have lost the count of it. How did you change? Was it some speaker, some personality, some words that inspired you? Each time I have been unable to answer that very question. How do I explain a gradual process that I did not know was taking place in me? How do I explain the sudden feelings that rose in me? How do I explain the sudden strength in me to break the typical clichés of the society? It wasn’t a speaker or some words that inspired me. I did not need inspiration; I just needed His one look of Rehmah on me.
I believe every person is a love story, waiting to be told. A love story of how he or she found his Rabb. Every moment, every event, every incident of life takes place to bring us towards Allah SWT and ignite feelings of love for Him and to make us fall more deeply in love with Him. Nothing is coincidental, everything has a purpose and I believe the purpose is to find Allah SWT, be that through a person, a thing or an incident.
Before a person becomes aware of their Rabb, he or she first becomes aware of themselves. They become aware of that missing piece, that void in them that needs to be filled. They suddenly realize that their friends make them feel only lonelier. Shopping doesn’t bring the same happiness anymore. Grades only increase anxiety and depression. Career is not as fulfilling as they thought. Or in some cases the drugs are not numbing enough. The more they try to fill that emptiness, the emptier they feel because it was actually that void was never meant to be filled with dunya. That void is present in every human being, be that a Muslim or a non Muslim and everyone is working towards filling that. Some are aware of that and some aren’t. Maybe that’s why it is said that the one who has known himself has indeed known God too.
By Amber Juman