Her mind wandered trying to scrutinize every intricate detail of her life. Over the past years, some questions begged her for answers. Why was she here? What was her purpose? Why did she find some parts of her life so stable while the rest broke down when she was still configuring them? She often wondered what happiness was or was it even attainable? At times she would be ecstatic about her accomplishments and at other times disappointment echoed in her head. Was life just about waking up every day to figure out whether it favoured you against all odds or was it something more?
Then once during one of her struggles, she realized what she had always been subconsciously doing all her life. She had complained about the harsh realities of life, the inevitability of pain but most importantly her drive had always been to complete the missing pieces of the jigsaw puzzle; to fix everything that was broken or had the potential to be broken. But in that process, she had forgotten to be grateful for the abundance that existed in her life. The unasked blessings that Allah had granted her.
That was when meaning & purpose crossed her path. She looked for meaning in people, relations and the tangibles when she should have been embracing them with the lens of her Deen. She never met people as a coincidence; each one of them had something to teach. To remind her that she was part of a bigger journey. Trials and pain were the hallmarks of a transient life. She could never hold on to happiness or sadness because meaning awaited her in Afterlife.
This life mattered because it was the realm to recognize the existence of the sole Creator and be a testament to the ultimate truth that He alone is All Powerful. What she had realized was that she could give meaning to whatever she valued but there would always be a void that nothing could fill except the remembrance of Allah. The only reminder that, when reflected in her actions, could bring true joy. Her struggles were there to manifest the sincerity of her faith. There was nobody who could give her hope for a better today or tomorrow except Allah.
Her journey was much like that of a traveller and no matter how far she went, she could still find the light of her Creator in the darkest of corners. The incessant guiding light that was ever present but needed to be recognized and understood. The only forever she could gift to herself and to others. The only legacy that could touch the lives of the conscious even after she ceased to exist in the sphere of temporality.
By Anam Mashood